Jessica takes the pantsuit to the pub

Well hello my yellow lovers! I had the great fortune of going out with the pantsuit recently for a few sneaky G&T's. Mine's a Hendricks and tonic with a slice of cucumber of course. Only the best beverages for such a prestigious and rare occasion. Actually I was back in the motherland for the wedding of my good friend Kate (a previous pantsuit wearer!). The wedding was amazing of course but I'm not about to get all emotional and teary on you, this is a serious pantsuit blog.

So we're here to talk about my slightly bonkers friend Jessica. We go waaayy back, I have known her since we were 11 and awkward at school. She's a super hotshot lawyer or something these days but don't be fooled, she knows how to let her hair down, pull on the nude spanx (true story I saw them) and rock the dijon delight that is the yellow pantsuit. The thing about Jessica is she is VERY LOUD!!!! She burst into the pub and shouted at me "I LOOK LIKE AN OVERRIPE BANANA!"  Not true, she looked  perfectly ripe and delicious. And then "WHY AM I WEARING THIS IN PUBLIC!!!! NO-ONE ELSE WORE THIS THING IN PUBLIC!!!!". Le shrug ma Cherie! Because you look banana-tastic of course! Jessica chose to pair the pantsuit with a floaty yellow blouson and gold peep toe heels. I was very impressed with her glamourous ensemble!

She forced me to drink with her because she needed a bit of extra courage. You know me, I was up for the challenge and took one or eight G&T's for team yellow. You are all welcome! It was my pleasure! I'm not exactly sure about the timeline here (it all became a bit hazy, excitement of course) but at one point someone knocked about 20 glasses off the table and a piece of glass ended up in my leg. And then possibly this happened next or it was at a different time in the night (I'm sure Jess will correct me if I'm wrong) I looked down to see my bleeding leg, bent over to clean it up and then she started shouting at me "I CAN SEE YOUR BANGERS!!!".  Hilarious and an utterly new word for my boob vocabulary so thank you for that treasure. Jessica you were crazy brave to sport the suit for a whole night. Well done. Here are some pictures to prove how fantastic she looked and that when in doubt ladies.....nude spanx. Cheers!

That's Jessica with me and my fancy gin and tonic.

Work it girl!

Taking charge at the bar.

I think she was shouting "LOOK NO TOE!!!! NUDE SPANX!!!!" but I'm can't be certain.

It's just Kara doing a duckface and sharing her secrets again.

Welcome back my mustardy friends, I am so happy to share a new pantsuit update with you! As usual, our auspicious yellow pantsuit has been spreading her sparkles of golden wonder with vigour. I am so excited to share her latest visit to the state of Oregon! Although I often write a little copy to accompany the photos, this time I will simply copy the letter from my friend Kara because honestly....you cannot make this shit up. I love your juicy life Kara and I love your honesty and  amazingness and quite frankly your metaphorical balls even though you physically have none. Rock on duckface....over to you!

"This lovely pantsuit came to me last October, so it only sat in my closet for a scant six months before I donned it. Whoops! Granted, in that time, lots of life stuff happened, and while I’m less of a believer in the magical powers of clothing than your average bear, I’m told that this particular pantsuit can have an impact. Perhaps so. Because in the time it’s been hanging out in the bowels of my closet, I had an on-again, off-again thing with my estranged husband, a divorce from said husband who is now my good friend and cooperative co-parent, some sexual adventures with some very attractive and younger men, and I’m currently 13 weeks pregnant with the baby of two dear gay friends who need to borrow a uterus! And the insemination worked on the first try for this “advanced maternal age” bird, so, perhaps the suit is fertility-bestowing after all! In any case, I’m grateful for the lovely woman who brought the suit into my life--one Kirsten Gatti--and for the group of gals through which we met. Such lovely ladies, all, who have gotten me through so much crapola in my life! I wore the suit on a lovely Sunday afternoon, just around the house, and my ex-husband came over to photograph me. We laughed and debated whether my baby bump is visible yet and whether we should dress our daughter up in it for fun (she was the deciding vote, and declared that the suit was “not beautiful” and that she wouldn’t be wearing it, not even if Mommy asked nicely).

I hope this suit is witness to an equally exciting stretch in someone’s life at the next stop...Jessica, I don’t know you or what magical powers of the suit that you might benefit from, but I look forward to seeing your pics and hearing how transformative this rayon/polyester monstrosity is for you.

Much love to all my sisters in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit. I am honored to be among you."